What About Your Friends? // The Five People You Surround Yourself With


I talk a lot about vibrations and frequencies. Your vibration is the energy that you are putting out in the world. Your frequency is the level at which you are operating. You may have heard that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I want you to think about those five people. Do they all lift you up? Motivate you? Challenge you to strive for more? Light you up when you see a text from them? Or do they drag you down? Depress you? Trigger you by the mere mention of their name? Hate to break it to you but if there are people in your inner circle that are dimming your light, they have to go. 

That could mean creating space away from them. If you are already on the path of doing your thing, people who aren’t along for the ride will naturally fall by the wayside. Maybe you need to confront them and say “Hey, all this negativity you bring to me isn’t cool.” It could be the wake-up call that they need because they’re blinded by their own insecurities that they project on everyone else. Or, you could do a friend breakup. I remember my first friend breakup in college. We went to high school together and hung out all the time when we first started college. She was a nice girl but when she got negative, it went deep. There was a problem everybody and everything. It was toxic being around her and I told her that I couldn’t have that in my life. 

To go back to frequencies, let’s use Jen Sincero’s example of a radio. You want to listen to hip-hop but you’re tuned into cat country. Instead of complaining that it’s not Drake while continuing to listen to dudes sing about their trucks, how about you turn the dial and tune and find the rap music you’re looking for. Some people in your life want desperately to be part of your group, but they’re just not on the same frequency as you and that is ok. Doesn’t make them a bad person at all. The vibration they’re putting out does not align with yours and you’re better suited saving that space for someone you can actually vibe with.

I've noticed that people are hesitant to remove people from their lives, no matter how toxic they may be. I want those people to ask themselves what they would say to a dear friend or family member in that same situation. Most likely they would tell them to cut that person out and never look back. My dream is for us all to value ourselves as much as we value those we care about. Sometimes people are in your life for a season and some for a lifetime, but they're all here to teach you a lesson. Spend this one life we have been gifted on the people who truly bring you joy.